All tagged 4.0
Maintains the milky feel on the palate by virtue of its 'whole' milk base-- a wise option for a zero-sugar-added product-- since the fat content can still deliver a modicum of indulgence in an otherwise austere milieu. The sweetener profile Ace-K plus Sucralose is a common pairing, and slightly preferable to monk fruit juice and most Stevia concoctions. The balance here is surprisingly deft-- in other words, it's not terribly distracting.
Whoa-- way more sweet than I was expecting-- it was actually so powerfully cloying that it stung the back of the throat. I have to assume that this is not intentional and I got a particularly heavy-handed batch-- as I've had lots of this genre and it has never registered as painfully sweet. In an effort to look past that, there is a decent cocoa flavor (and gorgeous dark brown coloration) that is getting drowned out by the sugary onslaught. Texture-wise, it's got a bit of grit from the cocoa presence (again, which seems above and beyond for the lactose free, private-label genre,which I appreciate) and feels substantial and congruent with its 2% base. If you've got a sweet tooth, this will find it, and rot it out.
Appropriately thin texture, and seemingly more vanilla flavor than chocolate. It doesn't take long for the high fructose corn syrup twang to surface in the aftertaste, an effect that becomes more noticable as you work your way through the gallon. No need to get that far, unless you're dying of thirst or share a similar chocolate milk psychosis to mine.
Decently smooth, but significantly over-sweet, without a strong enough cocoa contingent to balance things out from an overall flavor standpoint. The heavy-handed sweetness attracts more attention than it should, since it's unfortunately a syrupy sweetness that ages poorly in the fridge and on the palate.
Surprisingly flavorful and chocolaty for a shelf-stable, protein-fortified chocolate milk. Sure, there's some chalkiness from the protein concentrate, and sure, there's a slight but noticeable cooked milk flavor from the high-temp pasteurizing, but drinking this is decidedly more pleasure than pain, and compares very favorably to its typical 'recovery beverage' peer group. I get that a 5.0 isn't an impressive score, but for the genre, trust me- it is.
If you're not familiar with the uvular 'twang' that you can get from a strongly high-fructose-corn-syrup-sweetened chocolate milk, then give this a try and you'll know. It's devoid of anything other than a sticky sweetness, and is the dairy equivalent of watching daytime reality TV, which, to be fair, I'm not sure exists. But if it did, it would be like this-- something you know is rotting you from the inside, yet has enough of an appeal to hack some brain stems into consuming it regardless.
A pleasant surprise for a canned, (partially) stevia-sweetened chocolate milk that drinks quickly, albeit a tad unnaturally. It's lightly cocoa flavored, undersweet, and fairly chalky given its thin viscosity. There's a lasting aftertaste that has a sharpness to it, but all in all, outperformed (low) expectations.
Smooth, but egregiously bland. There's not much point to drinking this, unless your tongue is on fire-- and in that case, you have bigger problems than flavorless chocolate milk.
Decent texture for a boxed chocolate milk, but carries a noticeable 'cooked milk' flavor from the ultra pasteurization. It drinks pretty well and will satisfy in a pinch-- but probably best not to be in said pinch in the first place.
Less overtly sweet than the lowfat version, but same textural woes (sticky, almost-milky) and similar vanilla-forward, blandish flavor that is way under-indexed in cocoa flavor. Sometimes, that can still be good, but not in this case, as there's sadly nothing else worthy of your attention.
Allegedly 'whole' chocolate milk according to the nutrition facts, but you wouldn't know it. It suffers the same flavor struggles as the lowfat and reduced fat versions, just not giving the drinker any reason to continue aside from a quick sugar rush.
Greeted quickly by a unique maple-syrup-like sweetness, and then promptly ignored. Coloration aside, there's scant evidence of cocoa flavor, and while it drinks pleasantly, it does nothing to cause you to look backward (reflection) or forward (anticipation) in regard to what just crossed your palate.
Smooth and super bland, and whatever flavor exists is washed away forthwith, leaving you puzzled, unsatisfied, and remorseful now that you have the rest of the gallon to deal with.
Surprisingly strong pop of flavor upfront, then hampered by a modest stevia-laden aftertaste. There’s a slight cooling sensation throughout, and while the stevia is fairly well cloaked initially, it later induces salivation (reactionary, not anticipatory, to be clear).
A pleasantly chocolaty and creamy base hampered by a mild stevia presence, more accurately described as a ‘twang’ than a ‘sting’. Sure, it supports the ’33% less sugar’ claim, but the ~9g sugar reduction doesn’t seem to warrant the flavor sacrifice.
Perhaps I’m bitter, but as a lover of Twix I must be strict here. Absent are the best features of the candy bar— the cookie crunch and the fact that there are 2 bars; thus you’re left with a soulless, syrupy milk that harbors a scorched caramel bite and thankfully few other notables.
Strongly salty over a slightly cooked milk taste and a caramel sweetness. There’s no shortage of flavor, but it’s not allocated in the right places and proportions.
Beefy feel, and a nigh-stinging sweetness that ultimately dominates the cocoa, veering the Hershey’s-licensed flavor into its rightly ‘candified’ domain. It feels fortified, and carries a chalkiness that strays from its milky roots. Ultimately, you could do a lot worse from a taste perspective in the ‘fortified’ market— but when compared with elite chocolate milk, the flavor gap is much more pronounced than the protein gap.
Girthy, chalky, and a restrained flavor profile that deftly avoids funkiness. Drink this for its impressive characteristics if you must, but look elsewhere for more hedonistic pursuits.
Solid representation of what drinking a marshmallow would be like— so if that’s your charter, consider this a must-have. For everyone else, it’s a painfully sweet, much-more-marshmallow-than-chocolate experience, leaving you every bit as empty as the calories you just consumed.
